i’m glad chris evans is a celebrity and not a regular person because i don’t know what i’d do if i saw him making me a latte at starbucks or cashing my check at the bank or teaching my english class
I SEVERELY WISH SOMEONE HAD WARNED ME THAT INNOCENTLY GOING TO SEE CAPTAIN AMERICA WOULD TURN INTO AN ALL CONSUMING PASSION FOR SEBASTIAN STAN I MEAN JESUS CHRIST GIVE A GIRL A CHANCE
No wait but can we talk about how sad of a life Tony Stark leads because apparently he redesigned his entire tower around this team of people that he joined with for 1 day and ate dinner with one time and they all went off and did their own thing afterwards and meanwhile Tony is just. Redesigning. A skyscraper. That commemorates their brief friendship. In the hopes that they’ll come play with him again.
Marvel Cinematic Universe known Working Titles.
Natasha “yeah I don’t have any super-powers so beefy American dude just do me a favor and throw me up in the fucking air because I want to wrassle me an alien (and don’t forget I figured out the big misogynistic baddy’s plan by playing him like a chump and later literally punched some sense into our brainwashed team member lol call me when you need somebody to close the trans-dimensional portal to fucking OUTER SPACE)” Romanoff
Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”
Why does this not have any notes?
lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?”
“Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball speaking.”
“Texas crematorium you kill ‘em we grill ‘em how can I direct your call?”
- people who are gay can be assholes
- people with eating disorders can be assholes
- people with mental disorders can be assholes
- people who self harm can be assholes
- people who are disabled can be assholes
- people who have diseases can be assholes
do not excuse people for being assholes because something is wrong with them or have a hard life
i just fell off my bed does that count as parkour